Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Be the Mom Review

As  a child we all dream of growing up having a career, and getting married. Some of us even think we might want to have kids one day.  Oh, I remember those dreams. I wanted to be a singer and have 2 kids. one girl and one boy. Then, there comes a point once you have kids, that you realize it isn't as easy as it had appeared to be and maybe even wish we had waited just a  little longer.   

 I remember the day I found out I was going to be a mom. I honestly didn't know what to think or how to feel.   I had been protecting myself from an unplanned pregnancy and yet there I was thinking " Oh My.. What to do!"  I was very shoked at first, but quickly fell in love with being pregnant. I was lucky and skipped the major morning sickness and I even enjoyed the idea of giving up soda for 9 months.  Afterall, Not only was it better for my growing little one, it was healthier for me. I felt like I was off to a great start! I prepared myself by watching delivery shows and baby shows on TLC all day long! It made it all feel so magical and showed me how easy it is.

Once Des was born, I automatically felt this strong need to love and protect her. It was like everything I had ever known all of a sudden revolved around her. She became my life! It was amazing watching her grow and learn new things, but nothing could prepare me for what was going to happen. The sleepless nights, the oh so long stretched out days.  The tantrums in the stores.. Y'all know  exactly what I am talking about... " But Mom, I just want this one toy!" or " Mom, puh Leasssssssse" Yes those tantrums. The "If I don't get my way, I am going to embarrass you so badly you will never come back to this store" tantrums! The ones that make everyone surrounding you just stop and stare...

I can't complain much. Des has been an amazing kid and I love her will all my might! But, I will never forget her first tantrum. It had been a long day as it was and I realized I needed something for dinner because I had forgot to set anything out.. Off to the store I went. My quick trip became a long trip as the store was packed. Des was getting sleepy and started crying. I tried everything and nothing seemed to calm her down. Here I was in the middle of shopping, in a packed store with a little one crying as loud as she can possibly get! I remember thinking " I didn't now she could cry THAT loud" I left the store as quickly as I could trying to go unnoticed, but all the time knowing everyone was looking at me...

It's those days that take my patience away  and I fall into all kinds of mom traps. Wondering how the mom next to me does it so easy, or how she makes it look so perfect,  and how her entire family look  like they jumped out of the magazine, when I barely had 5 minutes to shower alone.  Yes, I admit, I have been far from the perfect mom and  I realize several mistakes I have made along the way after reading  Be The Mom, by Tracey Lanter Eystr.

In the book Tracey identifies 7 “mom traps” like the the “Just a Mom” trap, the “Busy Mom” trap and “Mirror Mom” trap and shares practical advice for breaking out of them, and enjoying mom life much more. She tells us about some of her personal experiences and how she got through it all. 

At the end of each chapter, there is a short quiz that will help you understand where you stand with that specific mom trap. It gives you a time to understand and reflect as well. 

I think the one I have struggled with most is the "Just a mom" trap. Being a stay at home mom has done many different things for me. I'm so very grateful for having the opportunity to stay at home with my baby girl all day long, but at the same time I felt like I had alost a piece of who I was when I stepped away from the full time job scene.  Over time It took it's toll on me and I envied other mothers who seemed to be able to do it all. I felt like I was "Just a mom" I felt like there was nothing else to me, but being a mom.  That also goes hand in hand with the Mirror Mom trap. I compare myself to other moms all the time wondering how they get it sooooo right.  When the reality is, we all have our days.

I reccommend this book to each and every mom because it will help open your eyes more than you know. It makes you look at situations differently and helps you step back to take a look at how you parent.

You can purchase this book at a great price on amazon.


Disclosure: Tyndale House Publishers has provided me with a complimentary copy of this book. All Opinions expressed here are my own.
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